DEVELOPING YOUR CHARACTER:
PRACTICING PATIENCE
by Martha Jean Fitch
September 7, 2008
SCRIPTURE: Matthew 18:23-35, James 5:7-11

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There was a man who went to the grocery store and as he was walking down the aisle he saw a woman with a three-year-old girl in the basket of the shopping cart. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her no. The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, "Now Monica, we just have half of the aisles left to go through - don't be upset. It won't be long." Soon, they came to the candy aisle and the little girl began to shout for candy. When told she couldn't have any, she began to cry. The mother said, "There, there, Monica, don't cry - only two more aisles to go and then we'll be checking out." When they got to the checkout stand, the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum when she realized there'd be no gum purchased.

The mother patiently said, "Monica, we'll be through this check out stand in 5 minutes and then you can go home and have a nice nap." The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Monica," he began. The mother replied, "I'm Monica - my little girl's name is Tammy."

Patience---it is a virtue that all of us need….and yet it is a virtue that is really hard to achieve. So many times, we find ourselves in relationships or situations where we pray to God saying, "Lord, give me patience... and I want it right now!"

In high school, my brother convinced me to take Chemistry. He said it would be a good challenge to me and would look good on my transcript when I entered college. I was really nervous about it because I don't tend to have a scientific mind.

My Chemistry teacher was a very interesting man named Mr. Head. He was a large man with big thick glasses and long stringy hair that he always wore in a ponytail. But he was a very kind and gentle man who put up with a lot of questions and confusion from me during the year. At the end of the year, I asked Mr. Head to sign my yearbook. I expected him to just sign his name or say something like other teachers did -- "Have a good summer" or "Nice having you in my class."

But he didn't do that. What he did say has stuck with me forever. He wrote: "Patience is a golden virtue."

I was never quite sure what he meant by that---if he was praising me for my patience and tenacity in learning chemistry. Or was he referring to himself and his patience to put up with a confused student like me. Whatever he meant, I have remembered that phrase ever since then and often remind myself that "Patience is a golden virtue", especially when I am feeling impatient.

But you know patience is not just a virtue. It's a fruit of the Spirit - a fruit that is revealed when we are walking with the Spirit. As we have heard the past three weeks as we have studied the fruit of the Spirit, when we abide in Christ and let His Spirit control our lives, we will reveal His characteristics in our lives. That fruit really is, as Charles Stanley puts it, the "signature of the Spirit". When we see fruit in a life, we know without a doubt that the Holy Spirit has custody over that particular child of God. He or she is under the Spirit's influence." If we are letting the Holy Spirit direct our steps, we'll show love, even to the unlovable; we'll have joy even in the midst of pain and we'll have peace in the midst of storms and trials. Today, we hear that when we walk by the Spirit - we will be patient.

But what exactly does it mean to be patient? What does it look like when it is the fruit of Spirit at work in our lives? There are several different definitions that people have come up with that might be helpful. It has been said that:

*Patience is the ability to put up with people you'd like to put down.

*Patience is accepting a difficult situation without giving God a deadline to remove it.

*Patience is an inner calmness that comes from the knowledge that God is in control.

*Patience is the ability to bear trials without grumbling!!

*As we look at Scripture, we find that there are two Greek words for patience. The first one means to "cheerfully endure" and the other means to have a "long temper" (which is the opposite of having a short fuse". )

Today we are going to look at what it means to have a "long temper" and to be patient with others. Jesus knew how hard it was to be patient. He knew how we often forget how patient God has been with us---and end up being impatient with our neighbors. He tried to teach this to his disciples when he told them the parable of the unforgiving servant in our Scripture today from the gospel of Matthew. I invite you to turn in your Bibles and turn to the 18th chapter and follow along as I read verses 23-35.

"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

"The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.

"His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

This story is so much like our relationship with God. We have all sinned greatly and have fallen short of the glory of God. And so we ask God to be patient with us…to give us another chance. Time and time again, God is patient with us and forgives us our mistakes. Indeed, Christ forgave us a huge debt of sin by dying for us on Calvary. But somehow or another, we forget that gift of patience, forgiveness and mercy. When we meet up with someone who has wronged us or who irritates us, we are impatient with them and often take revenge or sin against them. It is not easy to be Christ-like and be patient and loving.

In fact, I think it is impossible to be completely patient without having the Holy Spirit at work in our lives. We need to ask Jesus to come and live in our hearts and fill us with the power of the Holy Spirit. Only by His power, can we refrain from anger and irritation and respond with patience.

When we walk in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit will bring to mind everything we need to remember and will guide us in the decisions we need to make and the actions we need to take. I believe there are several things that the Lord wants us to remember.

First, we need to remember what God has done for us. Just as the man in our parable, we have been forgiven a huge debt! One that we don't deserve. The Apostle Paul was absolutely amazed at how patient God was with him. Writing to Timothy, Paul says (in I Timothy 1:12-17), "Here's a word you can take to heart and depend on: Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners. I'm proof - Public Sinner Number One - of someone who could never have made it apart from sheer mercy. And now he shows me off - evidence of His endless patience - to those who are right on the edge of trusting Him forever."

God has an incredible patience which bears with our sinning! God's character is to forgive and forgive and keep on forgiving … to be patient as He waits for us to change and turn to Him.

And he won't give up on us! Because God has been so patient with us - we need to be patient with others.

You've heard it said: "Forgive as you have been forgiven." Well, another way to say that is: "Be patient with others as God has been patient with you!" Remember how much God has done for you and do the same for others.

Another thing I think we should remember is that God is the Judge. In our passage from the 5th chapter of James, we are reminded of that. James says: "You also must be patient. Strengthen your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is near. Beloved, do not grumble against one another, so that you may not be judged. See, the Judge is standing at the doors." (James 5:8-9) All too often, we become impatient and irritated with our neighbors and put ourselves in the judgment seat. We grumble and complain and tear each other down - passing a guilty verdict on them. But God alone is the Judge. James says, "There is one lawgiver and judge who is able to save and destroy. So who, then, are you to judge your neighbor?" (James 4:12)

In the midst of our relating with other people, we need to stop our critical and condemning attitudes and leave the judging up to God alone. We have no idea what is going on in that person's life - only God does and He alone has the right to judge. And God has told us to love our neighbors and yes, even our enemies and not to judge them. Right when we are faced with a situation that is frustrating us - we need to stop and think: "How would God want me to respond right now?" If our response is one of anger and revenge - hostility and bitterness, we will know immediately that our decision is not of the Holy Spirit. But if our response if one of love and kindness, patience and compassion - that we will know that the Holy Spirit is at work within us.

We need to remember that everyone we meet is precious to God and is still under construction by God. When in college, I had a drawing in my dorm room that a friend gave me of an impish looking boy - his hands were folded under his chin - looking up as if caught in some act of mischief. The words on the drawing were: "Be patient with me! God isn't finished with me yet!" As it says in Philippians, "God who started this good work in you will keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish…" The good news is that God hasn't given up on us. He is still working with us, helping us become the people He called us to be. He still loves us and forgives us! He is patient with us throughout all our lousy moods, our silly mistakes and yes even our horrible sins!

And the amazing news is that God is still at work within our children and our family, our friends and yes, even our enemies! God hasn't given up on them either and He is still at work within them! And just as God is patient with them - we should also be patient with them and pray that God will bring to completion the work He has started in them!

When we face times of impatience, we need to somehow remember that this too is an opportunity to be a witness. I think people almost expect us to respond with impatience in difficult times. But when we choose to be patient, we can show others what God is really like.

As Joe Stowell puts it: "demonstrations of impatience reveal the sour fruit of our fallen hearts rather than the sweetness of Jesus in our lives. Since God is a patient God, when we abandon patience we miss the opportunity to show our world the glory of God through our lives. Bursts of impatience only demonstrate that we are more concerned with our own agendas than the needs and the struggles of others. (But) patience gives us the privilege of sharing the refreshing fruit of God with others." (Joe Stowell, "The Power of Patience", Our Daily Bread")

Instead of showing the world the sour grapes of impatience and frustration, take the opportunity to witness the rich tasting fruit of the patience of God.

And finally, remember that every frustration and injury we experience is really an opportunity to grow. Each time we experience some event in our life that tests our patience, we need to see it as God teaching us a great lesson in producing the fruit of the Spirit. As it says in Paul's letter to the Romans:

"We can rejoice when we run into problems and trials for we know that they are good for us--- they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady. Then, when that happens, we are able to hold our heads high, no matter what happens and know that all is well, for we know how dearly God loves us, and we feel this warm love everywhere within us because God has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." (Romans 5:3-4)

In a few moments we will be going to the communion table, to eat the bread and drink the cup, "In Remembrance of Jesus". We will gather to remember all that God has done for us in sending Jesus to die for us! We will remember how patient God has been with us and rejoice at how the Holy Spirit is working within us!

And then, as we go from this time of worship, may we go into the world, "In Remembrance of Jesus." May we go to show forth love and joy and peace, in remembrance of Jesus. And may we go and be patient - in remembrance of Him!:

One of my favorite hymns has always been "O Master Let Me Walk With Thee". I particularly like the second verse, which is really like a short prayer: "Teach me thy patience, still with Thee. In closer, dearer company." We all can know the supernatural gift of patience if we but walk closer to Christ.

Christ stands here today reaching out to us and wanting to walk closer to us. Once we take his hand and open ourselves up to His leading, amazing things will happen in our lives. Truly we will be filled with the Holy Spirit and begin to receive the fruits of the Spirit which are love, joy, peace and patience.